Today I dug a ditch and put in pipe to hopefully redirect excessive amounts of rain water (like we've had lately) so our chicken pens don't flood. Working in a muddy pen isn't enjoyable, it leads to a fair of amount of slipping, that in turn leads to falling in deep mud mixed with chicken poop.
I do my best thinking when I'm moving. If I'm sitting down that movement can be anything from fooling with a pen in my hands or playing with my goatee. I wrangle the thoughts I get while thinking by writing which is why this blog exists. Today was no different. I had plenty of time to think because it took me quite awhile to dig and this is what I came up with at the end of the day.
God saying 'No' is a blessing.
If you'd asked me last year why I liked the song "I Will Go" by Starfield I would have told you because of missions. I was listening to that song today and singing it (none of my neighbors could hear me over the revving engine of the corvette two houses up) and a particular line caught my attention;Where you want me I will be. Up until a few months ago in The Problem With Dreaming I hadn't really reconciled my current inability to do missions like I want to and God's sovereignty. Today I heard that line and I realized that where He wants me isn't in Africa.
Two Sundays ago was our Mission Sunday when we take up the Lottie Moon Offering and do our Missions Fair (one of my favorite annual services) and for the first time I was glad to be a sender. I was fine with seeing how God was working in those He called across the globe and it felt good to know I had a part in them going.
What occurred to me today while digging and getting caked in mud was that 'no' was a blessing. If you follow me on any social media platform I'm on;Facebook,Twitter,Instagram, you will have by now seen plenty of posts pertaining to farming usually ended with #futurefarmer. The majority of my Christmas presents were farming books, I picked up another on dairy goats yesterday. I've spent the past two years dealing with chickens (happily) and the last several months researching on pigs,goats,sheep, and mini cattle. I've said several times while full time missions isn't my calling I wouldn't mind teaching sustainability on short term trips. Oddly enough knee deep in mud today I concluded that the 'no' to what I thought was a good thing in my going to Africa was a good thing.
Five or ten years down the road when I (hopefully) have a farm of my own and enough knowledge to share it is exciting to think that I could teach people God has called to the mission field and they could take that to the nations as a way of spreading the gospel. Building things for people is great but teaching them and then letting them do it themselves is better. I don't want to do something for someone that they can already do themselves. That isn't helpful and it just creates a system of dependency that makes things worse. But, if second-hand I'm able to help a family in Africa or personally somewhere here, learn to raise their own food so they can eat, then I'm not hurting or creating dependency. What I am doing is helping someone not only take care of themselves I've opened a way to get to know people personally so the gospel can be shared. If things work out how I hope they do with this future farm of mine I hope to use the skills I learn to fund the people God calls in a less conventional way, by selling fresh meat, cheese, and vegetables.
My 'no' means I am able to help others do what God has called them to do. I won't say it is easy all the time because I do still long to go to Africa on a mission trip but understanding that not getting what I want is for my good makes things easier. God certainly knows what he's got planned for my life and thus far it has been full of surprises. The trust I'm building now can only help me later and hopefully others if I get the chance. Where God wants me isn't halfway across the world but right here where I've lived my entire life. There is a chance that will change but for now I'm where I need to be (even if there are times when I want my feet caked in red dust and to be surrounded by a people who speak a language I don't rather than chicken poop and mud)
It is strange to think that my wanting to live on a farm when I was little (I blame my father) has become something I plan on doing now. Hours of research and book,article, and blog reading is just another step in doing what God has for me, it wasn't what I expected when I was younger but I've learned life rarely turns out the way you expect it and that is a good thing.
So understand this, next time God says no remember that it is for your better. He isn't giving you what you want He's giving you what you need. Your good for His Glory. There isn't a better trade-off and we come out with the rewards in the end. A 'no' isn't going to be easy to swallow but its worth is immeasurable. He knows far better what is good for us and as a good and loving Father He is going to give it to us.
For your listening pleasure I've included this fantastic song. You should give it a listen.
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