The Fatherless

"Defend the orphan..."-Isaiah 1:17b
Adoption, it's a cause and a calling that is very important to me personally. From a very young age I can remember that word being used every so often in my house. My oldest brother Trey used to ask myself and my younger brother Cody if we would like to have a little sister from China. Although it was never looked into any farther than that, the simple mention of doing such a thing was my first taste of something that even then was becoming important to me. It wasn't something that I thought about that often but back then I wasn't exactly wondering what I would do in the future. Even though when I was younger I knew I wanted kids the idea of adopting wasn't the way I pictured my children entering my family. Then again at that age I didn't even know where kids came from. If it helps you understand me any better I also wanted to be married at that age not that I had the slightest idea of what marriage was.

I grew though and as I grew I learned about what adoption was. Being honest the more I learned about it for lack of a better word the cooler it sounded. I know cool isn't exactly how most view adoption but that's the best way I can describe it from my point of view before I was at the very least fifteen. Still it wasn't exactly a concrete idea or anything. It was still just an idea. It was then more of a 'I would like to do that' kind of thing. Even at fifteen it was still just a thought. That's pretty much how it stayed for another year, as nothing more than idea. I can't say that it was something that I had really looked into at that point. But still having a family of my own was something I wanted and adoption still lurked at the recesses of my mind. I was sixteen when it happened, sitting on one of those examining table things in the doctors office.

It was at one of my checkups with my endocronologist who I was seeing because of my Kallmann's Syndrome. By then I had learned that because of  it I would never smell much, wouldn't be very tall, and physically my body was younger than  regular guys my age. At the age of sixteen I had the bones of a thirteen year old. All side effects that I could deal with. The lack of smell didn't bother me, you can't miss something you never had. Although I can smell a few things the list is few, even though I discover on occasion that I can smell things that I never paid much attention too before. My height I had dealt with my entire life. I'm not 5'4" I don't think and as much as my lack of height annoys me I learned to deal with it. My bone age to be perfectly honestly with you  amused me. It sounds strange but it basically made me much like Wolverine. The superhero has the physical appearance of a man who was in his thirties but he's much older.

Those were things that didn't bother me. It wasn't until I was told in detail what the absence of LH hormone would mean for me that I was given something that I couldn't just simply get used too. LH hormone is needed for males to have children. My body doesn't produce it. Ironically enough the absence of that hormone is related to why I can't smell. At sixteen being told that having biological children wouldn't be easy was in short having everything that I had dreamed of for my future crushed. I've always wanted kids. I want a big family. I've got four siblings, and I want a family of my own one day. It didn't take but a few words from my doctors mouth to end that.  After this was explained to me I was told there was a way to remedy my lack of LH Hormone. It's basically an insulin pump that will inject LH Hormone into my blood stream instead of insulin. It wouldn't be easy but it was the only way currently known to help.

Right about then was the first time I have ever gotten mad at God. I didn't understand why it had to happen to me. Why couldn't that happen to some guy who doesn't want kids so it wouldn't be a problem. I could deal with everything else just fine. Sure I would like to be tall but I can deal with my height and everything else. I started asking why at that point and I didn't let up. Why was I the one who wouldn't get to have a family? What had I done for this to happen to me? Why out of all the people in the world did God have to choose me to give this too. I didn't want this. I never asked for something like this. I was a good person. That went on for a long time. It's not something that I'm proud of but I did it. It was a long time and took a lot of praying and reading my Bible until I finally reached the point to where I just gave it up. If God was going to do this to me there had to be a reason for it. So I prayed and I waited.

It's strange that I'm writing this now considering the series the Middle School kids at church are doing right now. When I finally let God have control of the situation I eventually realized that there was a reason I had Kallmann's. For the greatest part of my walk with God I had never really thought about what God's will for my future was as far as having a family. It had never occurred to me that this was God's way of bringing to light why adoption stuck with me so long and why it has as of now become a very important thing to me. This was God's plan for my life all along. I'm going to have the family he wants me to have. It hasn't been but probably the last two years that adoption has become a plan and not just an idea. I know that it's not an easy thing to do. I've spent quite awhile researching it and the difference organizations that adopt. The entire thing is made more difficult by the fact that I feel like adopting a little girl from China is where God is leading me in the future.

By now some of you reading this might think I'm crazy. I'm not married I'm only twenty among other things.  I realize this but there is a reason why I said its where I feel he's leading me in the future. That is later on not right now.  There are times on occasion when I think I'm crazy for this. If only for the reason that adoption isn't an easy thing to do. For starters unlike having children you have to be approved to adopt a child. The way I see it if this is God's will for my life than it's going to happen when he wants it too. No matter what the odds are or the difficulties, what is seen as a problem for us is nothing for God. That is why my trust is in the One who created me and saved me.

Every Christmas the Middle School & High School student Ministry at Church collect money and purchase presents for 2-3 children at Tennessee Baptist Children Home. We throw them a party and hang out with them for awhile. Over the years I've done quite a few things as far as service projects go and that kind of thing with the Church. But by far those parties are my favorite thing we do. For one night those kids get to have Christmas just like everyone else. They get to laugh and have fun, they get presents but they also get to hear about Jesus. The reason it is done in the first place. And every year on that night I feel the pull getting stronger to adopt.

My intention when I started writing this was not to tell you about Kallmann's. But it gives some insight on why adoption is important to me. I've told Gage before that I learned awhile ago that writing happens only when God gives me the inspiration. I lack the ability to write anything otherwise. This is what I mean by that. I started writing this because of how I feel about adoption and what is coming up. In a month and six days which is November 7th, Orphan Day is happening. It's an event I heard about two Sunday nights ago while I was trying to go to bed and was listening to WayFM. It's a nationwide event shedding light on the cause of Orphans. It is a call to believers and Churches to get informed on the need of Orphans and to pray about what they can do to help.

I want to thank you for reading this. I know it wasn't short and maybe not even easy to understand. And I realized as I wrote this that what I've written is the most in depth I've ever gone into how Kallmann's Syndrome effects me. The majority of which my closest friends do not know. I want to tell you now it is not because I didn't trust you because I do, you all have helped make me who I am today. Without you there is no telling how quiet and anti-social I would be at this point. It is mainly because it is not a subject I talk about. Not for lack of trust or even of pride, simply because there are certain points of it that I can't exactly just bring up in a casual conversation. I love you all and thank God for the relationships I have with you. Again I want to thank you for taking the time to read this and hope that it gives you insight into the cause of the Fatherless.
1 Samuel 16:7-Jared