The above is one of my favorite quotes. When I was younger I liked it simply because it mentioned wolves but several years ago I realized what it meant and it became more important. Parents tell their children to choose their friends wisely. Be careful who your friends are and so on is advice that I heard a lot and now find myself telling middle school students fairly often. We've had several lessons on the subject on Wednesday night's, Proverbs is especially full of criteria for what a good friend should look like.
So, why open with that quote? About six years ago I started writing a book about my best friends. It is titled The Pack, and the above is the opening quote. I see my friends as a pack (my sister has actually dubbed us the Wolf Pack). Like any wolf pack we are stronger together and are both very much alike and vastly different at the same time. But, I will tell you that I would not want anyone else in my corner. When push comes to shove these are people who have my back.
Choosing your friends is important. The funny thing about friends is that as much as you choose them they are choosing you. Statistically speaking your friends change over the years. You gain some and lose some as time passes and lives change. Much like everything else about me I broke that statistic also. While I've gained friends over the years the core of the Pack have been my friends for going on ten years now. In fact, I've known Hannah (I'll get to her in a moment) for fifteen years now. While I had friends growing up none of them were like these people. Until I got older I only saw these people two days a week but that didn't matter, they'd invited me in and things just grew from there. These people have helped me become who I am and to coax out a shy kid who didn't say a word to people.
Anaias Nin said it best "Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until this person arrives, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born." They've certainly helped shape my personality but they also introduced me to so many things. Much of my musical tastes stems from car rides to get coffee or frozen yogurt. Most of my food adventures involve them as well. I gained many new worlds thanks to these people and look forward to gaining more over the coming years.
It's interesting because as many things as I've learned from being with them the one thing that bonds us isn't music or food or even personalities, it's faith. God clearly had his hand on getting these relationships together because to be honest I'm an introvert and if they hadn't talked first I would have no friends. (Thanks to said friends I do actually talk to strangers now so thanks guys). It is what we believe that keeps us together. These people challenge me to grow closer to God with their own relationships with Him but aren't afraid of pointing out things that are hindering my own, or where they can see Him moving in me.
I'd love to tell you that we are constantly having stimulating conversations that would make the great thinkers wish they could sit at our feet and learn. Unfortunately, many of our conversations are in fact nonsensical and based only on random humor. That humor is important though and sense the introduction of GIF's into texting it has only gotten better. We make each other laugh and that is something that can't be taken for granted, deep conversations are great, growing together is great, but having someone you can laugh with is equally as important, you can't take yourself too seriously. Life with these people is never boring. That being said those same texts are often full of prayers and encouragement. When I need something these are the folks I talk with. Doesn't matter what time it is, doesn't matter how trivial the problem is, they are there. Find people who can help you deal with life and are willing to encourage you and pray for you.
Now, to Hannah. The first chapter of The Pack involves Hannah. She was the first friend I made at Bayside. This post was stirred up in my head because of her. You see she is getting married in two days. Which is a little bit crazy. (Mostly because sometimes my brain forgets that we are in fact in our mid twenties and likes to pretend we can all still hang out until one or two in the morning in the church parking lot). So what does that have to do with anything? Quite frankly without her I wouldn't have these other friends. The Pack started with her and grew because she knew these other people that also became my best friends. I told her once that I hoped that if I have kids they have a friend like her because if they do I know they will be alright. While I could say that about any of The Pack (the whole having wise friends is huge here) she was that first connection. Everything started with her just being nice. Without her there would be no pack. I'd probably be that weird kid who hides in the corner and eats paste if she hadn't said hello to me (except I've never eaten paste and I met her in middle school so that doesn't completely apply) but I really doubt that I'd ever learned to be me without that influence she started. I owe so much to her and this pack. I certainly couldn't have imagined in sixth grade what would have taken place all these years later and how a simple hello changed everything for me. See, I didn't do much choosing in the beginning, these wise friends were just there and I'm eternally grateful that I learned what the right friend was suppose to look like because of them.
You want friendships that will stand strong?
Find people that will make you laugh
Find people who aren't afraid to be honest
Find people you can be yourself around
Find people who seek God and will push you to do the same
Find people you can trust
Lastly, communication is important. TALK TO THESE PEOPLE. You don't have to be constantly talking (we don't talk every day and we don't all live in the same city) but if you can't actually talk to them there is no point.
I'm not going to tell you that if you find people like this you won't have problems. Relationships of any kind take work and friendships are no exception. That being said they are worth building and putting in the work to keep. Life is much easier and for that matter way more fun with people you can trust to live it with you.
To end this I'd just like say to thanks ladies and gents. Thanks for the prayers,the laughs, the car rides, the deep talks and the not so serious ones, the honesty, and for letting me be me and accepting all that entails. Here's to growing old and maybe not completely growing up. Can't imagine doing it with anyone else. #Wolfpack4life
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