The C Word

You see those two people? It's been eleven years since that picture was taken. Many things have changed. I've mostly lost that slick, baby face. She's lost that long red hair. You want to know what they didn't know? A few years after this picture was taken she'd be diagnosed with breast cancer. She would fight, beat it, and then five years later that cancer would come back. See, like the mythological Hydra, cancer is a beast that must be slain but when you cut off one head another grows in its place.

I'm not at all afraid to get personal on my blog. That is after all exactly why it exists, it is an outlet for the myriad of thoughts that fill my head. I don't do well when my brain is full. Instead of overeating it is as if my brain has taken on too many thoughts and they are rarely in an order that can be considered sensical . So, I write. This time things are different. I'm not just writing about me. I'm not giving you my views on the world. I'm talking about that girl in that picture with me, my sister, Nikki.

You see, when you're little you are constantly asked what you want to be when you grow up, no one ever asks you that as you get older. At nearly thirty I' don't know the last time I was asked that question. I can tell you emphatically that I want to be Nikki when I grow up. My sister has a faith that   I envy. Not that I lack faith in Jesus, but I've never been diagnosed with cancer, and I've certainly not so strongly shrugged it off with the 'it is what it is, God's got this'  attitude she's currently holding. I'm not saying she's happy about this. I don't know anyone whom would welcome this news. But, I am saying she's taken this news without a hiccup. She's trusting that God is whom He says He is, and that  He does in fact have all of this under control.

I'm no stranger to the sovereignty of God. I've seen it at work in my own life, sometimes in ways that I would much rather him not have orchestrated at all, but He is God and I'm not, there are things that happen I don't understand. There is beauty in that sovereignty, beauty in resting in the hands of God as hard times come. An image of a child running to their parents room in the middle of the night. We have worries and fears and we go where we are safe, God. There we can rest and know we don't have anything to worry about because in his hands nothing can harm us.

That seems odd doesn't it, me saying nothing can harm us in God's hands as I write about the cancer currently inhabiting my sisters body. But it's true, her body is going to be pushed, there will be pain, but her faith in God is only growing. Her whole outlook is that in all of this God is glorified. Not that she is healed, though we are certainly praying for that, but despite the treatments, and everything that comes with having cancer, she just wants God to be glorified.

The thing about Nikki is much like me she's not tall. I've got her by about an inch or so. Her body is basically made up of hugs, sunshine, and spunk. It's nigh impossible to escape being around my sister without a hug and a smile, and an attitude of positivity that is contagious. It's also hard not to see Jesus when you look at her. The Jesus that says 'Come to me all who are wearied and rest' because she wants to welcome everyone. She wants to help.

The first time she fought this I got my first real glimpse of the Church being the church as it rallied around my sister,brother-in-law, and nieces. Even now I'm comforted by seeing how it's risen to the occasion of praying for her and doing whatever they can to help her this time around. The thing is though, as much as I'll get to see how this sister of mine is being strengthened by the Church, I'll see how the Church is strengthened by her.

Faith isn't easy but that is why it is called faith. It's even harder when things don't turn out how you'd expect. But if there is ever a time in my life I find myself facing something hard I want to be like my sister, full of faith, ready to fight, and happily showing the world that God has this.